Peace Out

We are on our way home today.

A Whole New World

The traffic in Vietnam is infamous. Upon arrival in Ho Chi Minh City, we hopped in a taxi. Naomi had warned me of the traffic, but I wasn't really prepared for the actual real life experience. I immediately reached for a seatbelt... To no avail. Imagine going from controlled Canadian traffic to... THIS. Sans seatbelt.

Needless to say, it was a bit of a shock. Then, we had a Tuk Tuk accident in Cambodia. For an undefined amount of time, very instance when a car got a little too close, I flinched. Which was ridiculously often. It was like I had some kind of tick. "Hey *twitch* can you take me to *twitch* Sky *twitch* Garden?"

Then, one day we were eating delicious sandwiches for lunch and Naomi and Valerie were like "Hey Kim, you should go on a scooter down town with Kelly. Yep, you should go. Great opportunity. Go. Go." My response was a shaky smile and something along the lines of "Um, oh. Yeah. Okay. Uhhh.... Scooter... Yeah? Okay. Um, he has lived here for two years yeah? Good driver? Okay. Sure." As we were heading off, Valerie said "Kelly, watch out for her she is naive!" which was meant with the best intentions and kind of completely true. Everyone got a fairly good laugh.

For the beginning ten minutes of that first scooter ride I was terrified. I had a mortal kombat grip on the handle on the back of the bike. Death appeared to be imminent.

Clearly, I did not die. And after those first ten minutes, I began to enjoy myself a little. I started to look around, see everything from the point of view that the locals see it from. To make an embarrassing reference, I felt like Jasmine on the first magic carpet ride.... No Aladdin though.

I began to enjoy it more. Eventually I noticed that there are rules to the road. Although they still seem somewhat ridiculous to me, they are followed. You honk when you are coming up to someones blind spot. The scooters usually stay to the right of the road. You try not to hit pedestrians. The list goes on.

After spending a month and a half in Vietnam, I feel like of my naivety has lessened. This past Thursday I ventured out on the back of a scooter once more. This time, I was only mildly terrified for the first five minutes. I was on the back of the scooter with a lady named Uyen, adventuring to a fabric market where all the locals shop. It was quite clear that me and my white arse were not a frequent sight in this particular shopping area. On the way back I felt very brave indeed. I took out my camera. It began to rain and I snapped about 500 blurry photos. This first photo is just typical Vietnamese traffic. Actually this is quite quiet. We went in a round about on a street called La Loi where I almost peed my panties (good thing I packed lots) see first photo for an accurate reference.This is an incredibly typical image. A family heading home from school. The little girl had her sassy skirt on. At the very moment I took the picture, she is laughing at the funny looking tourist with the huge camera.Just a guy, taking home some eggs. You know. As you do.The things people manage to strap to the back of a scooter blows my mind. I've seen ladders, dressers, tables, chairs, dinner being balanced on one hand, giant tubes, instruments, animals (dead and alive) and televisions. I wish I had of seen more of these things whilst on Uyen's scooter, but I suppose you get the idea from the awesome guy with the propane tanks. Bet 10 dollars they are full.This picture makes it look like I've driven a scooter in Vietnam. Which is a lie. But I got Uyen to take it anyways so if I ever really want to impress someone I will show it to them while simultaneously keeping them away from this blog. Letting someone I would want to impress read any of this would one, prove that I was lying about driving a scooter by my onsey. Number two, I feel as though my representation of our adventures in Vietnam would shatter any illusion they would have of me being "cool".Finally, here is a video I took from the back of the scooter. It isn't busy traffic, but it may give you some idea of what it is like to experience a rainy season drive in Vietnam.

End of Year Extravaganza

This is why teaching is fun.




P.S. this is not the show Naomi and I took four weeks to direct. Unfortunately I did not get a video of any of the Munsch stuff we did because... Well, without going into too much detail we were just too busy to film or even watch the shows we directed ourselves. The little girl in the chicken dance though, she makes my life better.

Wildly Inappropriate

So it could be said that Kim and I share a slightly risque sense of humor, which is why we are both familiar with the Lonely Island music videos. Like a boss, is in my opinion one of the more vulgar videos from that particular band. So imagine my surprise when two of the ten year boys in Ms Kim's class would regularly reference Like a Boss and sing it during class. Nothing but the finest of Western culture for our students. Besides Jack Sparrow is way funnier.

I Better Hurry Up and Title this Post So We Can Go To Dinner

There are many things about going home I am looking forward to. One, I see my family. This is very exciting. Two, I get to sleep in my own bed. A bed of which I've moulded to very particular specifications in order to achieve maximum comfort. Three, my friends. Apparently they have missed me, which is a good thing considering how much I have missed them. Four, I will be reunited with the Canadian countryside. Although Ho Chi Minh is very exciting and different and amazing, I am a rural kind of girl at heart.
There are many things I will miss about Vietnam. Numero uno, my students. I got attached to the little buggers in 4 weeks and I would like to be able to continue to teach them. Number two is the food. My mouth has experienced a tastebud revolution. Although sometimes my stomach is behind the times and likes to stage mutiny (probably too much information, but hey it happens to everyone) I will miss the delicious food very much. Three equals the cheap pedicures and manicures and leg waxing, all of which I got done today. Getting my legs waxed is cheaper than buying disposable razors in Canada. And I'm lazy, so having someone else take care of that situation is very nice. Also, my nails are full time fancy. Pictures to come. Four, I will miss experiencing new things every day. Vietnam has been a whirlwind of elements I haven't seen or done before. Honestly, I know it has changed me as a person. Don't worry though, I don't think I am any more mature.... Just more..... worldly? Maybe?
It is hard to believe that we have been gone for 6 weeks. The day we left seems like it was both a long time ago, and only yesterday. This kind of dichotomy seems to be defining my mood right now. I want to go home, but I also want to stay. I feel like I've been here a very short time, and a very long time.....
Maybe I'm just weird in the head. I know Naomi thinks so.
Anyways, we are going to dinner at a Brazilian bbq. Then I have to do some packing. I have many other things to blog about... pretty nail art, scooter rides, the end of CIS summer camp... All of these things to come. But right now food is my number one priority.
Plus Naomi is being very pushy and making me finish my blogpost right this second. I suppose I'll miss being here with her in Vietnam. Don't tell her that though. She might use my friendly affection against me.

Well thats done...

Yesterday was our last day of teaching although admittedly not much instruction happened. The day was mostly about the big final production and making sure all of the VIPs were happy. The final show included; a slideshow of events at camp with digital music created by our students, the chicken dance with the grade one students, shadow puppets from Kim's class, the itsy bitsy spider sung by the grade threes, there is a hole at the bottom of the sea sung by the grade twos, two short plays based on the works of Robert Munsch directed by Kim and two more of the same directed by me, and an Aikido presentation that went on, and on, and on. The owners said that it was the best school show since Principal Bonnie's Christmas Pageant, I think that means they were pleased. Our rehearsals had been horrendous so of course on the day everything ran really smoothly. After my kids finished I spent most of my time gazing at the Audience. There were people taping the show on their laptops, ipads, and iphones. There were people chatting and texting on their cellphones. There is a small part in one of the plays we did in which the boys pull out water guns and pretend they are firemen while squirting the audience. I probably enjoyed that part a little bit to much.
Take that texters!
We tried to integrate some poi into the show but the two top students were to shy to stand onstage and work with the glow poi. So instead we had two of the other students do it while the audience was coming in and while they were very enthusiastic they really only knew about two moves.
I am proud of my students but I have to admit I am genuinely relieved camp is over. On the last day both Kim and I were asked if we would come back next year. We have talked about it and we are considering it. I think my bottom line is that if we were to do it again we would need either our room and board paid for or our tickets. If anyone wanted to come with us we could market ourselves as a group...

The Pisser

"Miss, I go out?"
"Miss, I go toilet?"
"Can I go out?"
"Can I go toilet?"
"Toilet?"

The above phrases were beginning to get to me so I decided yesterday to speak to my class about appropriate ways in which to ask if one may go to the washroom.

Hilarity ensued when I tried to explain the difference between Can I and May I.

Me: If you say Can I go to the bathroom you are asking me if you are physically capable of going to the bathroom. Oh, you don't know what physically means...um, ok you are asking if you are biologically able to pee or poo. You don't understand that either. *sigh* Right. You are asking me if this (wild gesturing towards groin) works!!

Students: Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

It worked though, no one asks me anymore if they can go to the bathroom.

The Powers of the Universe

I hate boogers. I do. Like, a lot. And feet. But today, mostly boogers.
It seems like everywhere I turn people are picking their nose. It is like the universe wants me to be grossed out and lines every moment up perfectly just so I can look the second someone is fishing for a big one.
Look, I know I want to be a teacher. I know I want to be a Mother one day. I know I will have to deal with snot. I'm working on my aversion. But it is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty. Makes my gag reflex go crazy.
You may wonder why I'm telling you this. Well, my friends... I would never write anything useless on this blog (says the girl who wrote about underwear more than once) so my description of my hatred of snotty substances is leading to something.
The something is this. In the past two days the Universe has dealt me more than just frequent nose picking.
Yesterday, in drama we had a break. I was sitting on the stage (as I often do) and one of our extra special troublemakers crawled up to me after he had been rolling around on stage for, you know... fun. Anywho he got right up near my face. Too close. On all fours. With snot running down his face. Like serious booger action. He is at least in grade 6.... You would think a 10-16 year old would know how to take care of that kind of situation.
He then proceeded to ask me what I thought was "How are you?" and I said "Fine?" and then he said "No, how mumble mumble mumble" and I said pardon me? Then he said "How old are you?" (keep in mind he still has snot running down into his mouth) and I was like "Twenty-two."
This was a good enough answer for him to crawl away and continue the rolling around on the stage he had previously been enjoying.
But that was just the appetizer to the booger bonanza that I experienced today.
Now I've spent a lot of time in a hockey arena. I know what a farmer blow is. I choose to ignore them and continue on with my spectating. But it is difficult to ignore when one of your students walks up beside the water cooler and puts a finger on one of his nostrils and blows a huge wad of snot onto the carpet of the theatre. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!
He then wiped it with his shoe, thinking he had been so sneaky with his snot shenanigans.
All I have to say is: why Universe? WHY?!

Airplanes

Today we got a new student in our grade 3-6 drama class. I don't know what his name is yet because he doesn't speak English or respond to Vietnamese, Korean, Taiwanese or any other language that we tried today. We found out later that he is Vietnamese but that he is also special needs. He sat quietly through the first 20 minutes of our rehearsal and then he began to giggle and talk to himself. Kim tried to shush him and Ms. Thuy sat next to him and tried to get him to listen but there was no stopping him. The topper was in the midst of Ms. Kim's production of Robert Munsch's seminal work I have to go he stood up with a high pitched giggle and started dancing around the auditorium like an airplane. For a moment none of us knew what to do. He wasn't responding to anything anybody said and he had this irrepressible giggle and he just kept dancing and ducking around like an airplane. Then we started laughing, and laughing, and laughing and laughing some more. Kim was doubled over on herself and I had tears running down my cheeks.  We were trying to be professional but in the face of such oddity we were at a loss. One of the students asked me "Ms. Naomi why he crazy?" So when he was finally calmed down and removed from the classroom we had to have a talk about how it isn't nice to call someone crazy and how we have to accept people with differences. We can't keep him in the class because we need everyone else to focus on their performance which is 3 days away. Also three of our leads announced today that they would not be here for the performance so we were also trying to train our understudies. Anyway here in honour of our new friend Airplane, is, well, airplanes.

Mind your step

Please note: This post contains graphic descriptions of land-mine victims.

I have often said that the remnants of the war in Vietnam are very ghost-like, lurking in the background and every now and then jumping out at you in obvious flashes. I think the most horrifying reminder are the victims of land-mines. They are not an uncommon sight, some are older men shuffling along with a limb missing or part of their arm burnt away. There are special bikes/wheelchairs that are worked on a kind of pump-action with the steering wheel that some of the amputees ride around in. There are women with milky white eyes and burnt faces who beg on the side of the street. Probably the most upsetting case that Kim and I saw was in Cambodia. We were at one of the temples and we could see a figure hopping after tourists, and kind of hobbling on one leg with her head on a crooked angle. We went down another path to see the sights and it wasn't until we were on our way out and she approached me directly that I took in the full sight of her. She was probably about 15 or 16 years old. She was very badly burned around her face and scalp, half of the hair on her head was gone and her face was melted and covered in open sores some weeping down her neck. Her left leg was also badly burned and largely useless. She could not properly speak so she grunted at me and I gave her what Cambodian money I had with me which unfortunately wasn't very much. Neither Kim nor I starred at her or disrespected her in any way but I know that the look on my face when I first saw her must have been awful, I feel really badly about that. While we were in Cambodia we noticed that there was a program for Land Mine victims that trained them to play traditional instruments in orchestras that perform for tourists by donation at the temples. There are similar programs in Vietnam based on marble carving, embroidery, textile arts, food service, and more. However the number of disfigured people you see here on the streets is disconcerting.

I am not writing this for shock value. I genuinely hope that if you find yourself in a conversation with anyone extolling the military virtues of land mines you will remember what I have written. Children and civilians are victims here and it seems many of them are farmers. Also please take the time to sign any anti-landmine petitions or attend any rallies you hear about.
Here are two websites you can check out to learn more:
International Campaign to Ban Landmines
and
Stop Landmines.Org

Making Up for Lack of Posts

There are some of the boys there. After a bunch of the kids got tired, they discovered a new fun game called "pressure the teachers into rockclimbing"....... That is right, I got bullied into rockclimbing by a bunch of 10 year olds. Not that it wasn't fun, but I had issues with the possibility of making a fool out of myself in front of my coworkers and my students. And, my bum is large.I actually made the picture of me climbing small on purpose as to minimalize the enormity that is my butt. Ms. Jamie climbed as well, she (unlike me) made it to the top. But she is the gym teacher, so I'm not so bothered. I did make it quite near the top (as seen in said large bottomed picture) but my arms staged a mutiny. They decided Ms. Kim was done. And I didn't really feel like taking the 10 minute rest to recooperate up at the top with all the kids looking at yelling at me. So, I decided that the summit of the mountain was meant for me another day. However I believe I made up for it by pretending to be spiderman on the way down. So, you may think that would be a good spot to finish up this post. But you forget, the weekend has already happened! And what a weekend it was! I spent just so much money. A ridiculous amount really. We went to Hoi An and I went shopping crazy.

What? I haven't posted on the blog in like a week? That can't be right........ So much happened! And I love talking (even if it is writing) so why wouldn't I chronicle my adventures daily?

I do have a fairly valid reason I suppose. I'm essentially working two jobs and travelling all over the Vietnam countryside. However, I still feel guilty that I have neglected to update all you avid readers. I'm still not entirely convinced that people are reading this, despite the solid proof provided by the followers and commenting.... I think I must just have broken brain and don't understand why people would read our silly little blog. Although Vietnam is awesome... So I guess it makes sense...

I'm talking in circles. Awesome.
So it is Monday. The last Monday I will spend at the CIS summer camp. I'm starting to get a bit sad about it all. Considering these kids are kind of awesome. There are a few that I know I will never forget.... Oscar, Tom, Keanu, Wella, Hannah, My Dung.... The list goes on and on. There are a few that like to try my patience, but I'm sure as soon as I'm finished my contract I will be all nostalgic and miss those little buggers too.
So, Thursday we went rockclimbing! Which was actually awesome. The beginning was a little stressful as once again there was organizational problems, but I've grown accustomed to such things now (I'm a seasoned teacher, don't you know..... heh.) and basically just rode it out until we got to the rock climbing site.

My kids were so cute. It was actually the girls that made it to the top, and two at that. The boys were awesome for other reasons. For example: David: "If we die we get 10, 000 dollars. I'm going to fake it and then get the money." Oscar replied: "I know a guy". Sometimes it is difficult for me to keep my composure. And I'm not ashamed to say I lose it on a regular basis. Another one was Tom: "If we die today Rockclimbing, we die in GLORY!"

Hoi An is insanely beautiful. It is like the Vietnamese Cowichan Bay whereas Ho Chi Minh is like Vancouver. Hoi An is known for its tailors, laterns and shoe making shops. All of which I decided to let ransack my wallet. I needed a bit of retail therapy though, so I'm not feeling too guilty. Anyways, I got a jacket made. It is purple. Then I got 2 shirts, a pair of pants, a pair of boots and a pair of gladiator sandals.... made. Custom fit. To me. And I'm all kinds of special with my large legs and small waiste. So Hoi An definitely has Kim's stamp of approval. The gladiator shoes are a thing of beauty. So are the shirts. Hand embroidered. In a night! THEY DID IT IN A NIGHT! It would take me like.... ten years to do what they did, and it would turn out all one sided and wonky. I was so impressed. I'm currently looking at boyfriend blazers and vests and shorts that I can get made here as well.....



I can't stop. I'm sick in the head. I've caught the tailor fever.



Also, in Hoi An there are these things called cyclos. Now, if any of you know what a cyclo is you are probably thinking in your head "Naomi and Kim, we told you not to get into any more rickety vehicles" but seriously, these aren't as bad as Tuk Tuks. They go slow because they aren't engine powered. Although, this proves to be a whole different experience, especially when the cyclo driver starts peddling up a slight incline and starts huffing and puffing behind you. Makes you feel like a fatty mcfat fat. But I'm still glad we did it. And it wasn't extremely terrifying, unless you count the time one of the cyclos almost barrelled over an old man. Here is a picture of me on a cyclo. I'm sweaty and red (it was up to like 37 degrees with 100% humidity or something insane like that) but I'm happy as seen by the look on my face.So, that is all for tonight folks! I will probably write more on Hoi An at a later date. I may even pull a super vain moment and take pictures of myself in all my new clothing. But not tonight. Tonight I must slumber. Tomorrow is my last Tuesday in Vietnam..... Bizarre. And sad. Although, Vancouver Island tis calling me. I miss my family. Except that brother I used to have. You see, I've disowned him since he does not email his sister who hasn't stopped buying him presents. Anywho, Ta Ta!

Filler

Kim and I went to Hoi An this weekend and it was WONDERFUL!
Hoi An is a little town about an hours flight away from Ho Chi Minh city and it is famous for it's tailors. I went there with the express purpose of having one of my favorite summer tank tops re-made. Kim had never been and had no idea the wonders that awaited her. Of course as soon as we started walking down the colourful streets lined with shop after shop displaying their beautiful dresses and shirts Kim caught on very quickly. Most shops can make you clothes over night, they need about a 24 hour period to make something, fit you, and then make any last adjustments. So we had until noon on our first day to make all of our purchases. You can also get shoes made which is a joy because you can literally pick out any style and any leather and they will make them to fit your feet. Kim may have gone a little bonkers with the clothing purchasing :) I was actually relieved when noon rolled around because it meant we could just chill out, take pictures, and window shop. I think of all the places I have been in Vietnam, Hoi An is my favorite I could go back there and spend a lot of money...like Kim did but I will let her tell that story. The food is also incredible, there is a restaurant run by the Red Bridge cooking school that makes the most delicious, scrumptious, yummy, food ever.

Word up Forrest.

In this moment I would like to quote Forrest Gump: "One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four whole months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain..... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain that even seemed to come straight up from underneath."

So true Forrest, so true.

I'm on a Boat

So, this Sunday Valerie and I went on an adventure on the Mekong Delta. For 15 dollars, we went on a bus to a boat, got on the boat, toured the Mekong Floating Market, another (land) market, lunch and had a small jaunt on the traditional rowboats. Fifteen dollars. For an entire day. And food. You would be hard-pressed to find lunch that cost less than 15 dollars in Canada. Let alone transportation, boating around all day and an English speaking tour guide. It blows my mind.

The Mekong is a really cool area. Basically all of these people come with their wares there. Anything from pumpkins to pineapple to bamboo to bricks to rice. Then buyers meet them on their boats and do their business. All these awesome looking tour boats ride up and down and let the tacky tourists take a billion pictures. (I'm one of those people).

It was really a well rounded day. The bus ride was long, but not painfully so. The boat trip was pleasant and after lunch I had a nap in a hammock. I really enjoyed both the big boat ride and the small boat ride. The Mekong has Ms. Kim's stamp of approval.

Probably my favourite part of the day was getting caught in a monsoon. Valerie was very smart and made me pack a rain coat. This allowed me to laugh at the full time fancy ladies that didn't bring anything. Luckily the boat driver had rain ponchos for the people to buy. Unluckily the quality was.... less than satisfactory. So here are these ladies, in their snazzy shoes and saucy clothes with their designer purses, getting poured on in half ripped rain jackets. Ah, the humour of it all was priceless. I would have paid 15 dollars just to see that.

Here is an oh so flattering of Valerie and I rocking our rain ponchos. As you can see we are smiling. This is because we came prepared.To prove my point, here is one of the ladies in the less than satisfactory rain coat. Notice the large hole on the left side of her jacket. These things were worse quality than the bags you get at the dollar giant.

Here I am after the rainstorm in the smaller row boats. As you can see, I'm wearing a traditional Vietnamese hat. It kept falling off my head. Which is suprising as I have a large head. Perhaps I was wearing it incorrectly. Which may seem impossible given the hats design is very simple, but trust me, I'm capable of such a thing.

Brief but Important Update From Kim #2

I bought a new watch. It was 7 dollars instead of the 2 dollars I spent in Cambodia. BUT it is green and it is apparently water proof. I know you all were concerned for me with the death of my Casio watch, and even though I feel it can never be replaced..... some of the void has been filled.

Little Bee

Today while we were playing our improv game a little boy, whose name escapes me, came up behind us and made a suggestion.
"Little Bee, make them be Little Bee!"
Miss Kim went "Little Bee?"
I said "I don't know Little Bee."
"You know Little Bee from New York!"
Miss Kim "You mean the statue of Liberty?"
Little boy "Yes! Statue of Little Bee!"

"Week Two" or "The Week I Tried My Best to Tire My Students Out So Their Parents Could Rest"

We have had quite the week in Ms. Kim's class. Monday the students had swimming, Wednesday the kids had bowling and today (Thursday) was field trip day. Everything went relatively well, and the kids seem to be having a lot of fun. "Ms. Kim, when are we going bowling?" "Ms. Kim, bowling is in 23 minutes" "MS. KIM I GOT EIGHT PINS DOWN"..... Needless to say, the level of enthusiasm has been high all week. "Ms. Kim can you come swimming with us next week?".... I guess that means they like me? I don't know if I'm teaching them anything worth while, but I'm trying really hard. Drama is going well, we have scratched the Lorax idea and have decided to do Munsch instead. Why you ask? Well, try saying "miff muffered moof" and "Thneeds are a wonderful thing that everyone needs"...... English is often challenging enough, Dr. Suess language is even kookier than English. Anywho, we keep powering through and hopefully the plays will be something the kids can be proud of doing. I made a nice long speech to the students about how when I play goes badly it isn't really the director that looks bad, but the people who are on stage. Not entirely true considering Naomi and I are these kids teachers and the parents definitely know who we are.... but true enough that it lit a fire under their buttockseses. Anywho, I'm exhausticated what with all the teachin and learnin I've been doing lately, so I'm going to bed. BUT tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! Friday Friday Friday! We are going to the Saigon night market tomorrow night and Saigon Kitch. Saturday is up in the air at the moment but then Sunday Valerie and I travelling up the Mekong Delta. Very exciting and I'm sure I'll take way too many pictures. Speaking of pictures! Oh my gosh, here some are!
These are my class on the field trip when we saw the puppet show. They weren't that interested in it because they had seen it so many times, but Ms. Kim really enjoyed it. That is what matters, right?

Look! My class! And my kick ass co-teacher Ms. Thuy.

Okay these pictures are of bowling day. This is BeeDah. I know we aren't supposed to have favourites (so keep this a secret) but this kid is definitely one of mine. Just look at that smile! This is after he got a gutter ball. Bee Dah don't let gutter balls get him down. This kid shares with others, is nice to girls and gives me candy every field trip we take. I may have to steal him.

Tom is an awesomely awesome kid who is buddy buddy with our pal Oscar. He is pretty cool, and speaks English really well. He likes to give me a bit of trouble though.

The beautiful ladies looking all sophisticated.

Stoked on bowling.

Ah, the boys. Lookin not so sophisticated, but definitely excited.

More ladies!

I put this picture in because a) it is funny and b) the girl in the middle is trying to lift a 15 pound bowling ball. The majority of bowling balls were 13-15 pounds. Now, when I bowled (yes, I'm a loser) I had a 9 pound ball. And I wasn't a wimp (at least when it came to bowling) so you can understand why 15 pound balls are silly. But, I'm not complaining because hey, this is in the school. It is literally downstairs from my classroom. Beside the cinema. You can see the pools from the door. Still can't really get over that. Anywho, like I said it is bedtime now. Well, after I shower because it was hot at the park we went to after the water puppets today. So I is stinky...... Too much information probably, but quite often the case in this country.

Travelling on

Last night Valerie and Kim started making plans. I believe they have decided that this weekend will include a day trip to the Mekong Delta and that next weekend we will visit Hoi An. I am excited for the trip to Hoi An, it is a lovely little town full of great restaurants and cute shops. There is also a tour we can do from Hoi An that will take us to a large archaeological site called My Son (Pronounced Me Soon).

This image is from my last visit to Hoi An.

Full-time Fancy Salon

I was in desperate need of a hair-cut so Valerie suggested that she take us to the man who did her last cut. Kim came along because she wanted to get her legs waxed, I feel that is a detail she would want included in this tale. When we arrived I was taken to a room to get my hair washed, the nice lady washed it three times and then massaged my neck, scalp, shoulders, and upper arms, unexpected but not heinous. I did object when she started to press down with her big thumb on the very top of my skull that felt odd. I've heard people say that this process is relaxing and enjoyable but I still have an injured ear and she kept bashing it so the whole time I was on edge. Then I was taken out into the outer salon for my cut. This was where I met Le Brian, yes he calls himself The Brian, it is even the name of his Salon. The Brian has what looks like permanent eye-liner, a fake nose, and the look of a Vietnamese Ken Paves. While I was digesting all of this he asked me what I wanted done and I told him. He went straight to work whipping his comb through my hair and my ear, yanking one of my earrings out as he went but that didn't stop him or really even phase him, in fact I don't think he even noticed. Some hair dressers take portions of your hair and put them aside with a clip, not The Brian. The Brian has people for jobs like hair holding, at times there were three of them around my head. The Brian paused in his work to ask if I required refreshment which I politely declined. The Brian barked off an order and one of his minions went running off only to return with a bottle of The Brian water, yes folks Le Brian has his own branded water. Anyway, I got a good haircut from The Brian and his minions, I am not sure if I like it and I know it was not what I asked for but it is a solid piece of hair cuttage.

Say my name, say my name...

At our first staff meeting our Principal told us a few of the Vietnamese and Korean swear words that we might hear in our classes.

Imagine my surprise, when, on the first day one of my students introduces herself as the Vietnamese equivalent of the word Fuck.

Fuck was promptly sent to the Principal's office and is now calling herself Stacey.

Field Trips and other natural disasters

The excited students in my bus. This was before we left and before the volunteer realized he had forgotten to pack us water.

This was our Vietnamese guide who spoke only Vietnamese to the dismay of my Chinese, French, Russian, Korean and other English speaking students. Given that our school has an English-only policy this was a little vexing. My student, Quan, turned to me after I took this picture and asked "Oh, Ms Naomi are we allowed to take pictures?" "I think she say we no take pictures." I was a little bit past the point of caring so I said "I don't know Quan, I can't understand anything she is saying." "If she tells me to stop taking pictures I will."

This is a group of confused looking students.

On the left you can see Nghi one of my Vietnamese students enjoying the tour. On the right you can see Joanne, my French student looking totally confused and a little annoyed.

Chau in some tiny hut thing. I don't know if he was allowed up there or what the hut was for but there he is.

Yo-yo playing with a wooden thing that pounds seeds.

The field trip was not the very best ever. My vegetarian student couldn't eat the lunch the school sent us because it was a meat stew.We had a two hour trip there and then another two hour trip back, with no water. There were language problems, scheduling problems, motion-sickness, and our volunteers needed to be volun-told what to do.  Many students puked and fun was not had by all.

First week down!

It is hard to believe that we have been here for three weeks. Meaning we are halfway through our trip and 1/4 done our teaching contract. Time certianly does not stand still in Vietnam.

The first week had its highs and its lows. Drama was definitely a high. Yesterday we had the younger kids and we put them all into groups and gave them each a one page script. Now, I think it is important for everyone to know that on the first day of school getting these kids to introduce themselves was like trying to get someone who is afraid of heights to hang out on top of the Eiffel tower. Not easy.

But after putting them into groups and giving them a half an hour to work, they ALL went on stage and ALL read in English. Even the ones that can hardly speak English. Granted it was a giant mess, they did everything theatrically wrong and half of them would have rather eaten a large spider than be on stage, it was a huge success. They are beginning to understand the importance of bravery (and it isn't just because Ms. Naomi will kick you out if you aren't brave) and they are beginning to get the basics. And, I think they are having fun. They certainly like the game "Photograph". They even volunteer to go on stage.

Thursday night we went to the Hard Rock Cafe and down into the backpackers district. I bought some perdy things. Here is a picture of the lighting hang they have at The Hard Rock..... Both Naomi and I were like................................................ why couldn't our school have THAT instead of the weird LED Parcans? THAT we would be able to work with. Le sigh.

Classroom management

Shortly before school ended I bumped into Tim at the cafeteria and he said "So I hear you are something of a hard-ass."

I don't think of myself as being particularly hard-arsed but after Kim told me about the following exchange I realized I might just be.

Ms Kim: Can anyone tell me why it is important to be brave and volunteer in drama?
Little Oscar: Because if you don't Ms Naomi kicks you out.

It is true, I do kick them out. We have 40+ kids every afternoon and crowd control is often difficult so I have a one warning rule: You get warned and then you have to sit out and watch everyone else having fun.  I'm not mean or unkind but if I say something I mean it and I will follow through. The children aren't afraid of me just on their toes...I think.

Kim has also told me she enjoys being good cop to my bad cop.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.

 I think I am much better suited to work with the adolescents.

Onward and upward

Things are getting better. Sort of. Or maybe we are just adjusting to a different way of doing things.

This morning out of frustration I stole a printer from one of the empty class rooms and walked across campus with it. I smiled as I walked past two security officers who didn't question the fact that I had a piece of school property in my hands. Ms Kim, ever stealthy followed me giggling. Note to self: Ms. Kim is not suited for covert operations.  Kim and I really needed to get some printing done so I resorted to under-handed maneuvers. We are supposed to rely on the staff to get us what we need but that isn't happening.

This afternoon was our first session with the older kids in drama. I can not tell a lie, I was really nervous. Thus far my older class had been rather reserved. I was scared that we would have to pry the kids out of their chairs to get them to participate. I could not have been more wrong, they were great! We have talked to both of our drama classes about the important role bravery plays in acting. Many of my students wrote about trying to be brave onstage in their journals, a few are finding it a challenge but they are still trying to get up there.

We have a very enthusiastic core of kids who are ready to jump up on stage and perform. We played the photograph game with them and Ms. Kim got onstage to join some of the more reserved girls and her antics had everyone in stitches. Not wanting to be outdone I joined the other team and our audience were nearly falling out of their chairs with laughter.

One of our stars is a young man who we are now calling Yo-yo. Yo-yo got his nickname from Kim who observed him playing with his ever present yo-yo. Anyway, his joy at being on stage is catching and other students want to be up there with him so I am VERY grateful for his presence.


*Phew*

Tomorrow we are going to Cu Chi Tunnels, the famous underground tunnels where the Vietnamese hid during  the wars...with grades 1-11.

Bits and bobs

This is just my supplemental addition to Kim's last post.

C.I.S.

The playground

The little Kid pool.

The big kid pool.

On opening day a construction crew ripped out the steps leading into the building. Timing = awesome.

Our friendly security gate.

The Golf Course.

Opening Day was very funny. Everything that could go wrong did. My favorite moment was when the Principal had directed Kim and I to put coloured paper on the seats in the theatre so each colour-coded class would know where to sit. No sooner had we finished putting the papers up when the IT guys came in and turned on the LEDs. This should not have been a problem except for some reason they chose to have the lights projecting pink which turned our yellow paper, orange paper and red paper, ALL orange! 

Schoolin.

Alright. Two days down. It has been a crazy ride, ladies and gentlemen.
Yesterday the "Opening Ceremonies" took place. Things didn't exactly go as planned. CIS, though very pretty, hasn't worked out all of its technical bugs. As in, we didn't have a working printer to get class lists, so everything was kind of a free for all. Also, for about a half of an hour we only had one song playing in the theatre. That one song was Tinkileo the Donkey. TINKALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Needless to say, the schedule was a work of improvisation. Meaning I had 2 hours for introduction time where I was supposed to have one.
We went to the gym, and a kid had a nosebleed.
Also there is a girl that likes to poke me, and touch me...... I might have to have a little talk with her, especially if she slaps my bum going up the stairs again.
There are a couple of REALLY cool kids in my class. I shouldn't really complain about any of them because if I give them a white piece of paper and some markers they draw for a half an hour. But, there are some challenges. Having three different grades in my class (4-6) and having children from public school mixed in with the CIS kids means I have a wide range of ability. So, I'm trying. I'm trying really hard.
After school I tutored for an hour. My taxi took me to the wrong building. So I had to call the Mother of the girl I am tutoring and my cell phone cut out no less than 4 times. After there wasn't any taxis I wanted to take (some are sketchy) so I walked home. And it looked like it was going to start monsooning so I walked quite briskly.
The plus side is that the three kids I am tutoring are super cute. And polite. AND her Mom brought me papaya juice and cookies.
Today was also an exciting day. We got to the school and there was no power. No power until 20 minutes after school started. Then, it from 8 to 11:15 it cut out four times. This may have been okay if our whole curriculum wasn't based on e-learning and smart boards.....
There were plus sides to today, it wasn't all chaos. The kids responded really well to my lightup poi and seemed quite enthusiastic about learning. We also had drama, and though handling 40 kids is a task in itself, we had some really neat moments. I would like to take this moment to thank Miss Naomi because I was somewhat overwhelmed and she and her no sass attitude led the class. I was more of a prop. Thank goodness one of us has experience or else those 40 kids would eat me.
I think that these next four weeks will be challenging, and I will probably go to bed at 8pm every night.... But I also feel like I'm getting valuable experience and I'm doing alright for someone who has never taught in front of a class for more than an hour.
TILL TOMORROW FAIR READERS!

My Brain Had No Rest This Sunday

This has been a very productive Sunday, let me tell you. I got my nails did (for a person who never paints her nails I've had some pretty fancy ones of late) which cost me four dollars. Then I did some reading (still Game of Thrones). Then I put on my backpack and my thinking cap and toodled on down to the fancy frozen yoghurt cafe (called Gee Licious) that is about a two minute walk from our apartment. Got me a mint frappuccino and got down to business. I sat there for approximately three hours working on lesson plans.
The internet there was lovely. FULL BARS. I was able to do all types of things I've been unable to do since I've arrived here. Next time I go there (soon) I will load all of my pictures on to the website.
I got the first week of school all planned out. Thank goodness because we start work tomorrow. Who knows if I will follow said plan, but it is there for me to use. I emailed my co-teacher Ms. Thuy and I made sure that she had space to do her own thing as well.
When I returned home the internet in the apartment worked for me......... which is bizarre because in the three days that we have been living here it has denied me the privelage of the world wide web. This is a relief as I will now stop stealing Naomi's computer. Although I think I will still be spending time at the Gee Licious because there internet is far superior. And they have coffee. Which is obviously the key to my success.
Anywho, I just thought I would write this blog post to communicate that things are going much better for me computer wise. I know you were all very concerned for my digital well being.
Tomorrow is going to be insane. Not only is it my first day at the summer school, it is also the first day I will be tutoring a little girl named Uyen. So I may be exhausticated tomorrow. Perhaps all of July, if we are being honest with ourselves.
Tonight we feast on spring rolls presented in the form of a chicken! Yum yummy yum yum.

The theatre

This is our theatre. It is interesting to say the least. My favorite part is the seating the fold out seats make no noise and are all brand new. The lights at the back are a mystery, we don't know what they are or what they can do. One of the other teachers said they project different colours but we haven't seen them on yet. I wish I had my lighting textbook here with me. I am really curious what these lights are. 

When you look at the lamps you can see there is a weird bubbly lens. Does anyone out there know what these lights are? The body kind of looks like a parcan. We aren't supposed to touch the equipment without some form of supervision, this is vexing. 

The stage is a thrust and not a very nice one. There is no offstage or backstage area. We are thinking of taking out the platform stage altogether and just working on the floor in front of a white screen.

The sound board was the only bit of equipment that looked vaguely familiar.

This is our mini lighting board.

Help us.

Frustration Station

INTERNET IS THE DEVIL!
In Vietnam, internet does not seem to be top quality. In the last apartment we had wireless but it didn't exactly like us and was often turning off or slow. In the new apartment I can't access internet at all. So here I am, on Naomi's computer.... Luckily she is well versed in sharing is caring or else I would go a bit bonkers. I need to check my email. That is how I chat with my family. Whom I love.
Also, facebook is super fun here. It is blocked throughout the whole country. So you either have to go in and change your settings in your computer (don't even begin to ask me how to do that) or you download a silly program to block your whereabouts. This program likes to shut off and slow down your already slow (or non-existant) internet. POO POO is what I say to this.
Did I mention that our curriculum for summer school is done on the internet on a thing called estudy? So, needless to say tomorrow I am going on a find an internet cafe mission. I will then camp out for many hours and figure out the lessons I will be teaching for the first week.
We went to the school again today. Naomi will be adding pictures at some point. These pictures will hopefully be looked at by alllllll our theatre friends so they can tell us what these crazy lights are. And if they are useful, because as of right now we are thinking it might be better just to move our production to the cinema.
I did manage to chat with my family this morning. My Aunt, Uncle, cousin, brother and Dad. I was at the school and managed to find an open network that had 2 bars of service so I was able to have a somewhat choppy yet wonderful conversation. Corey opened (one of) his birthday presents as well, which is a set of his very own poi! This is also a gift for me as I hate having him steal mine.
I had a very long nap today, which was probably a bad idea. But it seemed to be something I couldn't really control. You can take the girl out of the country, but you cannot take the nap out of the girl.
I should give Naomi her computer back now. Tootles!